Dear Brothers and Sisters!

Whilst counting the blessings Allah (swt) has bestowed upon us he mentions in the Quran: “And We created you in pairs.”[1]And there is no doubt that the marriage bond between a man and a woman is the most beautiful bond between two people. In order to emphasise the importance of marriage, Rasulallah (saw) addressed the youth as follows: “O young men, whoever among you can afford it, let him get married, for it is more effective in lowering the gaze and guarding chastity, and whoever cannot then he should fast, for it will be a restraint for him.”[2] Therefore, a believer finds the opportunity to complete his religion by protecting himself from haram through marriage.

Dear Brothers and Sisters!   

Before taking this important step, our brothers and sisters who have reached the age of marriage should undoubtedly review their own situation. We must ask ourselves, “Are there any shortcomings in my religious life that I need to fix?”, “Do I have the maturity and strength to take care of a family?” or “Is my religious knowledge about marriage law sufficient?” The person should ask himself questions accordingly. Preparations should be made not for a one-day wedding, but for a lifetime of marriage.

Dear Jama’ah!

Rasulullah (saw) said the following about the characteristics to be sought in spouses for marriage: “A woman is married for four things, i.e., her wealth, her family status, her beauty and her religion. So you should marry the religious woman (otherwise) you will be a losers.”[3]

Although the hadith is addressed to men, its content is also addressed to women. Undoubtedly, for a believer, piety and good morals, which are the fruit of piety, come first. For this reason, the Messenger of Allah (saw) even said: “When someone whose religion and character you are pleased with comes to you then marry (her to) him. If you do not do so, then there will be turmoil (Fitnah) in the land and discord (Fasad). If you do not do so, then there will be turmoil (Fitnah) in the land and discord (Fasad).”
They said: “O Messenger of Allah! What if there was something about him?”  Rasulullah (saw) then said three time: “When someone whose religion and character you are pleased with comes to you then marry him.”[4] In these recommendations of our Prophet, it is clearly understood that the most important traits to look for in spouses before marriage are piety and good morals. Parents have a great responsibility in this regard.

Dear Brothers and Sisters!

Emphasising religiosity in the hadith does not mean that the other criteria are not important. It may be natural for a young person to want to marry someone else because of their wealth, lineage and beauty. However, it should not be forgotten that all these may not remain as they were in the course of life and may disappear. What is beautiful in its youth may lose its beauty with age. A rich person may lose his property for one reason or another. A person can naturally distance themselves from their family and from their people, through marriage. All these are not possibilities that can last a lifetime with people. However, having good morals, chaste, fear of Allah and the Hereafter are the supreme values ​​that reveal a person’s character. Marriage with people with these characteristics was prioritised and was strongly recommended by our Prophet (saw). It should never be forgotten that the secret of durability of marriages should be sought in these virtues. Undoubtedly, wealth should not be a condition for richness. However, it is the duty of the man to support the family according to the average life of the society in which he lives. The obligation to earn more or less from halal and to support the family is given to men in Islam.

I would like to finish the khutba with this ayah and hadeeth. Allah (swt) says: “But let them who find not [the means for] marriage abstain [from sexual relations] until Allah enriches them from His bounty.”[5] And in the hadeeth Rasulullah (saw) said, “Marriage is recommended for the one who desires it and can afford it, and the one who cannot afford it should distract himself by fasting.”[6]

May our Allah (swt) grant fruitful marriages to our single brothers and sisters and may the marriages of our married brothers and sisters be beneficial. Ameen.

[1] Surah An-Naba, 78:8
[2] Müslim, Nikâh, 1
[3] Buhârî, Nikâh, 15; Müslim, Radâ, 53
[4] Tirmizî, Nikâh, 3
[5] Surah An-Nur, 24:33
[6] Müslim, Nikâh, 1

Khutba-Preparing for Marriage